-
Re: I haven't been here in forever!!!
Aye. How did you make the link say something, rather than just show the web address?
Nov 18, 2005 -
Re: Stay
When you disappear was a great way to end it, I thought. A suggestion, that the second repetition (We’re falling away from/Falling so far from/Reality?) could be slightly different from ...
Nov 18, 2005 -
Re: keep still
Great imagery and description, I could picture this in my head. There was something I didn't like about the London bridge references, I didn't fully understand why they were in ...
Nov 18, 2005 -
Re: I haven't been here in forever!!!
Check out the games! They're awesome. There's a thread somewhere that tells you about the recent changes.
Nov 18, 2005 -
Re: Erasure
I liked to lie on your bed and just be If I lie on my own bed and be I am just being alone. But no, no more of this ...
Nov 18, 2005 -
Re: Magnifying my soul
Loved the first stanza, great metaphor. I don't think the ... (there's a word for that, but it escapes me at the moment) was needed in the last line or ...
Nov 18, 2005 -
Re: Indigo Children (I, II, III)
I can't find anything wrong with this because I don't really understand it. However, I can tell you the bits I thought worked well: inhibiting your drawing-blanks your nothing-thoughts... bloodied, ...
Nov 18, 2005 -
Re: Fried Faces
Cellophane regrets. Very nice. I don't like "that" at the beginning of that line, and some of the poem didn't seem to flow very well, but you played with imagery ...
Nov 18, 2005 -
Re: Crit the person above you!
^^ Cliff Edge (13+), by Duskglimmer (great idea, Snoink)
Nov 18, 2005 -
Re: Cliff Edge (13+)
I liked it. But here: And wondering who'll catch me Please say that someone will catch me Catch me and save me from that deadly fall I felt there were ...
Nov 18, 2005 -
Re: Anger (Edited Version)
I'm not sure, maybe straight after the first one? Makes it sound more intense. And maybe put the second bleed in italics? Bleed until you are sorry Bleed until you ...
Nov 18, 2005 -
Re: Restless
I don't know. But some people don't capitalise, intentionally.
Nov 17, 2005 -
Re: Eternity
Yay for alliteration! Rest in peace please peace please peace please Love that. EDIT: Sorry, I voted wrong cuz I assumed yes would be at the top and no would ...
Nov 17, 2005 -
Re: Lost
"That I’m walking away from u?" u? u? Argh! Hehe text speak in poems is one of my pet peeves, but it's nice to see it's the only one in ...
Nov 17, 2005 -
Re: Anger (Edited Version)
Ooh, I really liked this. The best bit was, "Bleed until you are sorry! ... But you will never be sorry" because it seemed really energetic and angry, and then...a ...
Nov 17, 2005
